Wednesday, August 29, 2012

Time is on our side

When our Jude-boy entered this world and our lives, six months ago to the day, we wanted to know with immediacy what issues of health our family may likely deal with.  How would Jude develop?  Would he have other, more frightening conditions internally, hidden to the naked eye?  Oh, how these thoughts will keep a parent up at night.

Many of those fears, now replaced by new ones, have been answered through the only means possible: time.  Time, through its gift of revelation, has given us much peace about being in the thick of something and knowing that this state is but a temporary moment.  And every moment we live in that state, we move closer to clarity and healing.  No one sees clearly through tears.

As to our new concerns, when I think of them they actually give me great hope and direct me in a way in which I can only say "thank you, God."  Thank you God that, where once I feared my son's ability to move, I today can ask when will he crawl, knowing he will.  Where once I feared his place with our older sons, I now fear the three of them ganging up on their parents.  Where once I feared his ability to know my love, I worry not being home enough for him to touch my face and together share a smile.

Yes, we worry still.  Try telling a parent not to worry about their child and they'll tell you you don't get the parent-child relationship.  And so it is, we will always worry for Jude, as we will for his older brothers.  Our worries and fears aren't always pointless, though.  Consider today's fear an opportunity in six months time to see God's healing and mysterious ways in action.

St. Jude: Pray for us.

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